What is Empathy? How it can help in having healthy relationships ?

What is Empathy?

According to Oxford Dictionary ‘Empathy’ is – the ability to imagine and understand the thoughts, perspectives, and emotions of another person. Psychologists and Psychiatrists value empathy at a very high level, as it is one of the most important components of having a healthy therapeutic relationship with the client. It is essentially the ability to put oneself in another person’s shoes, i.e. the ability to view their world (feelings, perspectives, and thoughts) and respond accurately. 

Human beings are social animals and empathy is an ability that is quite inbuilt in everyone but, most people are unable to show empathy to others as they are not taught how to showcase it in their everyday lives. Empathy is an important skill that must be developed but it can be learned as well through therapy and psycho-education.

Qualities of an Empathic Person:

• Being a good listener: A good listener is someone who doesn’t interrupt when someone is talking and makes sure that the other person feels heard and supported by them.
• People feel comfortable sharing their concerns with them: Individuals who are non-judgemental are the ones with whom sharing personal concerns becomes easier, simpler, and more comfortable.
• Being a good observer: Empathic People find it very easy to pick up signs of how other people are feeling. 
• Concerned about others’ feelings: An empathic person cares about other people’s feelings.
• Being Helpful: Empathic people are very helpful towards others as they try their best to understand other people’s problems and also try to help them in solving the issues.
• Feeling overwhelmed during tragic incidents: Empathic people care deeply about others hence, it is extremely emotionally overwhelming for them to witness a tragedy. 

Types of Empathy:

1. Affective Empathy: Affective empathy is when an individual can experience another person’s feelings and emotions on a deeper level.
2. Somatic Empathy: Somatic empathy is when an individual can have a physical response to what the other person is experiencing. 
3. Cognitive Empathy: Cognitive empathy is the ability to understand the other person’s mental state and what their thought process could be in that situation. 

How does empathy help in having a healthy relationship?

Relationships are a very important part of everyone’s social life, whether it’s a parent-child relationship, sibling relationship, platonic, or romantic relationship. Maintaining these relationships is a challenge for many people especially when there is a major gap of understanding between them.

The basic principle of empathy is that of developing the skill and the ability to understand the other person’s thoughts, feelings, and perspectives. A relationship that lacks empathy may make the people involved feel lonely and unhappy in the relationship as they don’t feel the comfort to communicate openly with each other. Hence, this situation creates more distance in the emotional bond of the relationship resulting in a lack of trust, lack of communication, and lack of belongingness towards one another. 

Communication is a very basic and important element in a healthy relationship. When there is an extreme gap of understanding due to a lack of empathy it results in unhealthy communication patterns between the people involved. The quality of the relationship keeps on decreasing unless a step has been taken towards being more empathic towards one another. Hence, it is the most important component to have in a relationship as it bridges the gap of understanding between both the people involved. 

How can you build Empathy in a relationship?

1. Putting yourself in their shoes- To be empathic is to look at and understand the other person’s worldview.
2. Be non-judgemental- By being non-judgemental when creates a safe space for healthy conversations to happen.
3. Asking questions- By asking questions and checking into their emotional state can help in increasing the emotional bond in the relationship.
4. Being helpful- Taking extra responsibilities and helping the other person when they are overburdened is a great way to show that you care about them. 
5. Being mindful and present- Showing support and being there for them especially when they are feeling overwhelmed and lonely is crucial in developing a strong bond within the relationship.

Also, seeking therapy to grow and build a better relationship is the most important step to take especially when the quality of the relationship has been decreased due to a lack of empathy and lack of communication. Many mental health institutes today follow a humanistic and empathic approach toward their clients. One such institute is Veda wellness and Rehabilitation which is one of the best luxury rehab centres in India. Hence, seeking therapy at an institute like this can be helpful in leading the direction of the relationship to a healthier path. 

Janhavi Mehta

Psychologist

Veda Wellness and Rehabilitation