Building A Relationship With My Teen

Teenage behaviour can often be confusing, stressful and often create anxious feelings for self or others. Although in most cases, that doesn’t mean that something more serious than the natural process of growth is happening. Many parents find it difficult for teens to act. 

Many of the common behavioural problems parents struggle with are an integral part of adolescence and growth. Hormonal surges and physical changes, difficulty finding identities, pressure from friends, and development of independence are times of confusion for teenagers. For example, it means going away, wanting to spend more time alone or with friends, feeling misunderstood, refusing conversations and affectionate attempts, or looking moody. 

One of the most significant change in a parent and child’s dynamic while growing up is how much time they spend together, whether by the virtue of getting busy with academics and/ social life or teens wanting uninterrupted opportunity to talk to their friends or whether it is in spending their leisure time in their own way. This accompanied with a certain amount of resistance in being spotted with their parents can also be their attempt of asserting their independence.

Some things that may help during these years, to strengthen the relationship with them can be:

• While they see you as a parent, let them see you as a person too. Share your excitement about their hobbies and yours, let them see your fun side.
• Develop common hobbies or interests with them, go out of your way to find and learn about theirs if there is no common ground.
• Just like any individual, a child is allowed to have their privacy respected, and it should not be taken personally. Allowing space within certain reasonable boundaries is helpful.

• If your child chooses to share some information, attend and respect it without prying for more insignificant details.

• Your child might not show but your compliments and validation will make them feel seen and heard by you.
• Make an effort to be present at your child’s significant events, and explain to them in advance if there is no way out of missing the event.
• Respect your child’s concerns. Don’t belittle their concerns when they are upset or flustered.
• If you really have to criticize, criticize the behaviour not the child-
• Growing up children are a lot more impressionable and easily affected, hence, avoid teasing your child, sometimes even good-natured teasing can hurt their feelings.

Having considered our nature of interactions with our children, we also need to remember that every individual is different and unique, and if the you notice a behaviour that requires more attention or is concerning, reach out to a psychologist or psychiatrist to rule out any concern. While there are many professionals offering treatment of anxiety, disorder, and other more prevalent disorders, you can use expert help from a psychiatrist or psychotherapist to combat the concerns of your child as well as yourself if need be.

• Avoid lecturing. Instead, reassure your child that you understand by acknowledging his or her feelings and offering empathy, support and guidance.
• Ask your child for his or her ideas on how to handle situations. This shows you value your teen’s thoughts and opinions.
• Keep judgements at rest and try to stick with the subject at hand.
• Follow through. Believe in the rules you set, and once you put them in place, be consistent and stick with them. Consistency is the best policy.

While parenting may or may not be acknowledged, it is a hands on and fulltime job. Involving individuals, it exposes both the parties to vulnerabilities that are of a great variety. Therefore, taking care of yourself as well as your child’s well being is very important, sometimes the healthiest way to navigate is using a professional support, whether it is of a psychiatrist or a psychologist. One of the best places to do so is Veda, a luxury rehab, one the leading wellness and rehabilitation centres of India with the best treatment for anxiety and depression, as well as other psychological concerns.