Loneliness and boredom: Triggers for addiction

Loneliness is a major issue of our century. In 2024, Dr Maruthy published about loneliness being an epidemic. Loneliness is a state of isolation in physical or psychological depth. Loneliness is not a new topic but, lately, its impact has increased. Loneliness is felt when an individual is alone in a new city, state, or country but is also experienced amidst people. It has deeper roots when people perceive being lonely even with their closed ones.

Loneliness is common among young and elderly people. Globalisation has led families to live in nuclear settings. Elderly people have reported experiencing loneliness on a large scale in the last few years.

Why do we feel lonely?

• Inability to build meaningful interpersonal connections: Major causes for not being able to form meaningful relationships are:
  • Social anxiety is when an individual experiences an intense level of discomfort (nausea, anxiety, or nervousness) in social situations. The individual is preoccupied with others’ perceptions about them or if they are doing anything wrong. The fear and anxiety become a wall in creating those bonds.
  • Trust issues: Past incidents of getting hurt because of other people’s actions cause an individual to fear making these relationships. They intentionally isolate themselves emotionally.
  • Not feeling understood in relationships: When a person opens up about their emotional vulnerabilities and is either not understood or misunderstood, it creates a barrier to making deeper connections again in their lives.
  • Living in a new city or country: While working with clients living abroad, I have noticed that they experience loneliness and find it hard to make new connections because of cultural differences.
• Personality types: Studies have shown that neuroticism is a positive indicator of loneliness whereas other personality traits, such as agreeableness, extraversion, conscientiousness, and openness to experience are negative predictors of loneliness.
• Attachment style: A secure attachment style means an individual can easily make relationships without fear of rejection or abandonment. You are affectionate and communicative towards your partner and their needs. An insecure attachment style means the individual struggles to maintain a close, healthy relationship and has fears and anxieties revolving around the relationship.

1. People with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style have a negative view of themselves and a positive view of relationships. They constantly need reassurance as they worry about their partner’s love and commitment.
2. Dismissive-avoidant attachment style includes a positive view of the self and a negative view of the relationship. People with this attachment style value self-sufficiency over emotional intimacy and closeness.
3. People with a fear-avoidant attachment style fear being too close or distant with their partners. They have a negative view of themselves and their relationships.
4. Persons reporting a merging attachment style tend to value intimacy to such an extent that they can become overly dependent on the attachment figure.

• Increase in use of social media: We are ceaselessly connected virtually and have stolen the opportunity to have clo meaningful relationships. The constant comparison of Instagram stories of others’ successes has closed the door to being closer to people as it makes us feel inferior.
• Poor mental health: Anxiety, depression, and other illnesses cause social fatigue. It’s like the person is drained while engaging socially which adds to the discomfort of an individual.
• Work-life balance: A busy lifestyle takes away the opportunity to have a social life. People spend hours and hours at work and are deprived of social life and relationships. Work stress is another cause of addictions.
• Nuclear families where parents are living alone have made them vulnerable to empty-nest syndrome which means they are prone to depression which can again be a trigger for alcohol consumption or addiction.

Loneliness and addiction

Loneliness creates a void that begins to be hard to fill. Human beings flourish through meaningful social relationships, and the absence of those relationships is painful.

On the other hand, missing out on relationships makes people go through FOMO, a feeling they are left behind also adds to the pain.

Loneliness could be a reason for boredom. Pain or boredom can act as a trigger to engage with alcohol or drugs. When it comes to pain, alcohol, and drugs can act as an easy way to deal with it. Use of alcohol or drugs to escape these feelings over time develops into addictions. People use online gaming, gambling, or viewing pornography as well to deal with these hard feelings.

The thing with addiction is we don’t usually notice it till the time it has become a habit that we cannot live without. These activities become a coping mechanism for an individual to survive.

When addictions become a part of our lives then, one can try to get out of the cycle through a few interventions.

If the primary cause of your addiction was or is loneliness, then it is necessary to address the cause and start working on the cause and current habits.

To address the cause of your loneliness, understand what stops one from forming a meaningful relationship. If it is hard for you to figure out the reason, then you can start therapy with Veda, an outpatient rehab in Delhi.

One can also start by joining support groups to find new people to connect with and try to make and maintain new relationships. There are support groups for loneliness and addictions.

Try joining new clubs and activities to meet new people. Meeting new people is a new opportunity to feel less lonely and fill that void.

Let’s say you find it difficult to overcome your social anxiety; then start therapy with the best mental wellness and private rehab centre in Delhi.

Learn to enjoy your own company. Having a deeper relationship with the self also helps to navigate through times of loneliness.

You can also start a detox programme and get personalised treatment in Delhi with Veda.

Loneliness and boredom can be a major reason for addictions. Multiple factors contribute to loneliness or boredom, but you are not alone. If you struggle with the above-described manifestations, you deserve kindness and love for yourself and others. You will find ways to deal with your struggles. So don’t give up!